November 29, 2012

I met her again..

I met her again: my quiet, fragile being with her body so transparent as if it was made of ice. I took her to the woods, undressed her and watched how strongly she reminds me of my own fear. That day I took many photos. Every one of them bears the signs of death (as the marks of her hands on my back).

Actress: Karolina Kominek
Fashion designer: Łucja Zając

November 27, 2012

I'll tell you a very old story, which I heard from my grandmother when I was a little girl. In the countryside, where we used to live, there were a few men who were considered to be insane. They had been meeting in the old basement to summon the soul of the girl who hanged herself in the rural barn a few years earlier. These men were in love with her and never reconciled themselves to their loss. They were drinking and doing some terrible things to her lost soul - things that my grandma never spoke about. She only said that they were binding her with rope and that this made her flesh become material, then they touched her with their old, male hands. I asked my grandmother why did the girl's soul let them to do such things. She answered: there is nothing more lonely and frozen than these girls souls, which wander amongst men's hearts.

November 18, 2012

This night I will spend with my R. on the hill near the woods. The hill is full of crystal clear energy, which still attracts me, so we often go back there. Tonight with camera, whiskey and warm blankets. 

We are waiting.

November 13, 2012

November 11, 2012

November 10, 2012

an interview for

Hi Laura! You are very popular for your photos and fairytales, but I couldn’t imagine how it would be to meet you in daily life.. could you introduce yourself to us?

There are many places in my daily life which I share with the world that I create in my photos. They are connected with each other by isolation, fear, sensitiviness and mostly fairy tales. When I was in a primary school, I had already realized that I was strongly differ from my peers. And I’m not talking only about being a lonely type of person, but also I was always running away from the real world into world of dreams. I stopped meeting with my friends, talking to anyone, I was constantly asking parents to take me to the countryside where my grandparents live. This was the place where I could take care of my fairy tale world: amongst the animals, in enormous, lonely orchards where often fog and rain roved.

Today, the day when I turn 25, I know for sure that I won’t be able to come back to real life ever. My Lad is taking care of me. I already met him when I was in highschool, he is now working so that we could have some money to live and savings for our future home. I can’t work with people, can’t earn money in a full time job. I spend my all days (and lately often nights) on creating worlds where I could feel safe and happy (although sometimes these are also associated with fear and loneliness). My drawer is full of notebooks in which I draw frames of my future photos. I would really like to make them appear on a photo plate. It is very important for me and somehow: necessary.

You talked about your Lad.. who is him?

He is my guardian, brother and lover at the same time, genius loci of my mind and soul. Thanks to him my life leaves behind so many magical signs. He is the only person who I trust boundlessly, who knows my thoughts, who helps me to create and protects from fears. It would seem that we are very different people, distant poles: I graduated polish literature, my thinking process is very imaging and narrative, while he was always fascinated by astrophysics and mathematics. He graduated civil engineering and now is preparing his Ph. D. theesis. His soul is full of passion to things that are deeply hidden from sight, still unnamed, located somewhere deep in the outer space. He is the most responsive boy that I know, who would never hurt me. This is why I can plan with him Our Death.

Tell us about your fairy tales.. who do you write them for?

As I have mentioned before – writing fairy tales or taking photos of “them” have some therapeutic meaning for me, lets me feel safe and fulfilled. However I increasingly realize that for many people my photos are also very important and dear, maybe they find in them the same things I do? – safety or emotions and feelings excitation which were maybe dead or asleep in them for a long time. Maybe they are inspired by this god particle which we can’t name but which is still required to know your own soul (just like the fairy tales that we read when we were children). I also write them for that thing in me which won’t let my mind free, which on the contrary forces me to create. In this whole process there are two things that infiltrate each other: pain and passion.

I decided to interview you because lately I saw some really strong photos on your profile (with blood, tears and sexual references) I never noticed before.. what happened?

Sometimes this fairy tale world gives voice to things like wilderness, pain, loneliness, madness, evil. Fairy tales consists of lots of evil and death and I try to tame that just like it is done with wild animals. I’m coming closer to them, touch them, name them, try to take photo. I drill death, look straight into its heart and listen to what death has to say. More often occurs in my illness periods of strong trauma and helplessness which are so serious that if not the help from my Lad, I could not manage them. In these periods death seems to be closer than usually. We look into our eyes, tremble in the same pulse.

Do you live in a natural place or do you escape from the city just to take your photos? Tell us something about the place where you live and the locations you chose for your pictures..

Childhood and school years was the time that I have spent in a small city where I was born and on the countryside at my grandparents’ house. I often go back there to take photos. This place is very dear to me, this is why I like using it as a scenery for my photo sets. Nowadays I live in Cracow – I have graduated here and rent an apartment here with my Lad. This is a big city, completely strange for me, full of people – this is why when I want to take photos I need to go to nearby woods (happily there are some here).

I notice death is a recurring subject in your work (we can even see death animals in some of your photos).. which kind of relation do you have with it?

Yes, death is very dear to me, as I mentioned earlier. There is something in it, that tempts and worries. Especially dead animals – formerly people used to believe that when wearing a mask of some animal they were taking over in a magical way its essential features. When I’m surrounding myself with dead animals I feel – on one hand – a very strong bond with wildlife, and – on the other hand – I feel like I were taming death, which is starting to become more sister than ruthless necessity. However I do more often feel the need of smuggling some kind of elementary bodies from the “place” which is on the other side (after death).

I read somewhere you take photos with Zenit cameras.. I own one of those, and though it has a sentimental value for me, I know they are very heavy, inaccurate and difficult to use.. so.. why that choice?

Zenit cameras are very cheap and easily reachable. Furthermore, my Zenit never let me down – it is very durable camera and I never had any problems with it. Though, lately, I’ve started to use some new cameras and lenses, I feel like experimenting with some different photo techniques.. I would like photos to be more like paintings (this is probably next form of running away from the reality).

Just for curiosity.. is there a person who has been very important in your last years work?

In my last year’s work I was fascinated by paintings (I browse them more than photos). I’m particulary inspired by painters like Aron Wiesenfeld, Christer Karlstad, Jana Brike, Dilka Bear, Courtney Brims and Marco Rea.

Giulia Bersani

November 04, 2012

November 03, 2012

patterns of distraction.

Sorry for bad quality - all photos are from my phone.